


this is an asexual love story, so suck it!

by thursdayknight



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Billy Hargrove, Asexual Will Byers, M/M, and i am frustrated as hell, because i wanted it, i am asexual, so both will and billy are asexual in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 12:01:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21475687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thursdayknight/pseuds/thursdayknight
Summary: Will is eighteen when he finds out that there's a word for the way he feels: asexual.He never would have expected a word like that to apply to Billy Hargrove of all people, but, well.Here they are.
Comments: 24
Kudos: 52
Collections: Stranger Things ace fic collection





	this is an asexual love story, so suck it!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [trashcangimmick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashcangimmick/gifts).

///

Will is seventeen when he starts to realize he's a little... different. Not that he's gay, he's known that since he was fourteen and caught Mike kissing El and realized he wanted it to be him.

No, he's different like...

Like he's tried grindr and it's... fine? Like he's done the whole drive-three-towns-over-go-on-a-date-have-sex-go-home thing and it's... fine? 

But also like it leaves him cold. Not like he's bothered, exactly, more like sex always feels like a let down, like he's so excited by the lead up to it every time - the kissing, the touching, the skin-to-skin contact - then it all rolls over into sex and he's kind of… bored? Like he can't help but think, "Sure, this is fine, but can we go back to the other stuff? The other stuff was better." 

///

He's eighteen when he finds out that there's a word for this: asexual. More specifically for him, gray asexual, which means halfway between asexual and sexual, which… can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people… but again, specifically for him what it means is that what he's always thought made him odd, like that he likes making out and touching and not sex, is actually totally normal. There's a name for it and other people who feel the same way and... 

And he likes making out and touching and not sex and that's okay because he's not the only one who feels this way.

It's actually okay. 

_ He's _ actually okay. 

The day he finds this out he actually cries in relief so loudly his mom comes rushing in to hug him, doesn't ask him questions, just hugs him and mumbles reassurances that he's _ okay _ and this makes him cry harder and she just hugs him until he tells her he's asexual. 

Like he tells her he's asexual before he tells her that he's gay. Not that he ever really needed to tell her (or Jonathan) that he's gay, he's just sort of always been one of those kids everyone just _ knew _ was gay. 

And he's got the scars to prove it. 

This, though. This throws his mom off big-time. Like the first thing she says after he tells her is, "But I thought you were gay?" and he isn't sure if his mom just doesn't get what _ asexual _ means or if she thinks that gay guys only ever want to have sex so she doesn't get how you could be both at once, which.

Yeah. 

That's a problem Will has been struggling with for his whole life. 

Or it feels like his whole life, at least. 

Anyway, he says, "You can be both, Mom," because you can, because he is, so that has to mean that there are others, the internet is telling him that there are others out there like him, so he's going to take that information and grab onto it with both hands and believe in it with all he's got because it just has to be true, _ it has to_.

And his mom says, "Okay," like she doesn't quite get it, but also like she supports him, because she always does, always has, always will, no matter what and he's always known that and will always know that and he is so, so grateful to have her because he's read things, bad things and he knows not everyone _ (read: almost no one) _ has a mom like he does.

Then they wind up talking about it for an hour and there are a lot of tears and a lot of hugs and it's just… it's just really great, honestly.

///

It takes Will another six months to work up the courage to join a discord server for asexuals in Indiana and it turns out there's another ace gay dude near him. This guy is loud and brash and obnoxious and not at all Will's usual type, but they start talking because they live so close to each other and once they start talking, they don't stop. It's like a flood gate has opened; they talk about everything, from the fun stuff like music, movies, books - they both love horror and Stephen King, as it turns out - to the dark stuff, like how both of their dads were abusive dicks and how they both thought they were broken.

This guy, though, _ CamaroBoy _ (even his display name is obnoxious, good lord) he's had a worse time of it than Will has, not that Will has ever said so to his face because, _ rude, _but this guy? He doesn't have anyone like Will has his mom and he doesn't have a Jonathan, either. He has an abusive dick of a dad, a mom who disappeared, a step-mom who ignored him and a step-sister who he barely talks to, even after they've both escaped that house and those people.

And it makes Will want to cry. No, scratch that, it _ does _ make Will cry. A couple of times. It makes Will want to hug this boy, like just full on octopus hug him, wrap him up in his spindly, long limbs and never let him go. It makes Will want to pet his hair and tell him it's okay, he's okay and that they can share his mom, she's always adopting strays, anyway - it happened with Eleven and Hopper, it happened with Steve Harrington, it happened with Max. It's like her _ thing._

And Will can't stop wondering what Cam - _ CamaroBoy _ \- looks like. They haven't exchanged pictures or even their real names on Cam's request - he's not out, either as gay or as ace, which Will gets - so while he knows things like Cam's favorite book of all time _ (Carrie) _ and that his father used to hit him and that he's been working out a lot lately in an attempt to quit smoking and that his favorite band is _ Metallica _ and that he loves his car, there are other details about him Will is left to wonder at like is he tall? Is he short? Is he skinny? He's said he works out a lot, does that mean he's muscular? And what color is his hair? And his eyes? 

But whatever Cam is, whatever he looks like, Will knows he's beautiful because he knows this is like an Amy Pond and Rory kinda situation, like whatever Cam looks like, he's beautiful because Will loves him.

And Will loves him. It's only been two months, but Will loves him with everything he's got, because that's two months of talking every single day, for hours every day and he might not know Cam's real name or what he looks like, but he _ knows _ Cam like Cam _ knows _ him; he _ understands _ Cam, like Cam _ understands _ him and Cam understands him better than anybody else ever has and...

Will loves him for it. Plain and simple.

///

It takes four months for Cam to suggest they meet in person and Will instantly jumps on the idea without thinking, too excited to care about anything but finally, _ finally _ getting to see what the boy of his dreams looks like. 

They agree to meet at this little cafe two towns over with a cheesy name,_ Coffee and Flowers, _ and agree to each have a rose with them when they meet; Cam laughs at this when Will suggests the idea, says he can just send a picture and his name now that they're about to meet, now that they trust each other, but Will says - _ well, why not add in a little mystery? a little romance? _ and Cam sends back this gif of a cat falling off of a table, then a guy holding his gut laughing and Will wonders (not for the first time) what Cam's laugh sounds like.

He gets actual freaking butterflies in his stomach when he realizes he's about to find out. 

They set the date for a week from Saturday and Will picks out his date outfit six times before asking Jonathan for help.

Jonathan, in his typical older brother style, just rolls his eyes and says, "He's not gonna care what you wear, buddy, just show up and be you and it'll all be good," which is great advice but also makes Will groan and turn to his mom. 

"Which shirt do you think I should wear?" he asks, nerves making his voice crack obscenely like he's still fourteen. It's _ embarrassing._

And it's only made worse by the way his mom makes a face, thinking it over for a nausea-inducing amount of time before finally saying, "Hmmm… your lavender button-up one," making him groan again because that's entirely the wrong choice. Like, of all his shirts, that's the worst one he's got, that's the one that's so bad it perpetually sits at the back of his closet, and only even lingers there because he's too lazy to bother with throwing it out.

So of course it's the one his mom picks, of course it's his mom's favorite.

He tries picking out an outfit two more times before giving up and calling Lucas and Lucas, genius that he is, comes up with the idea of going to the mall and buying something new. Which is perfect, really.

So they go on Wednesday after work and Lucas picks for him a plain black t-shirt and skinny jeans that hug his hips and more importantly, Lucas tells him, his ass. 

Will considers telling him that Cam isn't gonna be looking at his ass like that, they're asexuals, so the whole "looking sexy" thing is kind of missing the point but Lucas is the horniest person Will has ever met so he figures it'll probably just go over Lucas' head that he wants to look _ nice_, not _ sexy _ and leaves it alone.

He buys the clothes and he washes them twice and he gets a haircut and he cleans his favorite sneakers and just generally tries really, _ really _ hard not to lose his mind before Saturday.

The ragged, near bloody state of his fingernails by Friday, however, show just how badly he's failed at this.

///

On Saturday, The Day, Will shows up to the cafe forty-five minutes early, wondering as he pulls open the cafe's big, glass, flower-etched door if being aggressively early to things is a trait specific to him or if it's something all asexuals do by nature, because if everyone else is always late because they're always having sex/thinking about sex, then…

Or maybe that kind of generalization is kind of terrible.

He isn't sure. He's still really new at all this.

But regardless of whether that thought is or it isn't terrible, before he even has a chance to look for a boy with a rose, someone calls out, "_Will fucking Byers? _ What the hell are _ you _ doing here?"

Will turns around, rose in hand and heart in throat to find his worst nightmare has come true - Max's older brother Billy is storming towards him with fire in his eyes and his hands balled up into…

No, wait. 

This can't be right. 

He can't be seeing this correctly.

Billy Hargrove is _ not _ holding a rose. 

"What the hell am I - What the hell are you?" the words fall from Will's lips the second they fall into his brain because…

Because…

No. 

This can't be right. Billy can't be Cam. He can't be. Will can't be _in love_ _with_ _-_

No.

Billy looks down at Will's hand, sees the rose he's holding, shrugs and says, "Okay, well… wanna get a table?" easy as anything, like he's just gonna roll with this. Like he's Billy Hargrove and he can just roll with anything the world throws at him. Because of course he does. Because of course he _ can._

Will _can't_ but he fumbles out a stuttering, "S-sure," and follows Billy towards the back of the cafe, thinking: _of course Billy is Cam._ _Of course he is._

Because on second thought it makes entirely too much sense.

Cam's sister who he doesn't talk to, who also doesn't talk to their parents?

Of course that's Max.

His favorite band is Metallica. Which, yeah. 

Even his username - _ CamaroBoy _...

Of _ course _ Billy is Cam. Like Cam - Billy - never told Will his name but he might as well have. 

Like who else in their town was it ever going to be, really? 

So they sit down at a table in the very back, like almost next to the bathroom, and Billy sets his rose down on the table and stares at Will like he's a shark and Will's his next meal. 

And. 

No. 

This still doesn't make any sense. Maybe Billy _ is _ Cam, but maybe Cam's been fucking with him since day one, too. 

"But… okay…" Will sputters out, breathless. He doesn't want any of that to be true, but he has to find out for sure, even if the answer breaks his heart. "You? You're gonna sit here and tell me you're-" he drops his voice to a whisper, _ "-gray asexual like me?" _

Billy raises an eyebrow and says nothing, leaving Will with just enough rope to hang himself with so, of course, he does. "I once heard that you had sex with Marie Johnson, Sarah Newsome and Tammy Parker all on one night, all at the same party, all at the same time," Will says, hand clutching at his rose tightly enough that the head almost falls off. 

Billy leans in, eyes sharp, grin still just as predatory and… and then he sighs. He _ sighs _ and in that second Will sees the Billy Hargrove mask slip off and underneath it he sees Cam, sees the boy he loves, sees _ everything._

"First off," Billy says, "that was just Tammy Parker and neither of us had a good time that night, trust me." 

"But-" Will spits then falters, because he doesn't think he can deal with this if it isn't just that Billy is Cam, but that Billy _ hasn't _ been lying to him for the past four months. If he's in love with Billy freaking Hargrove.

"What? You think she wanted her reputation ruined any more than I did?" Billy leans back in his chair and eyes the rose Will has basically crushed to death and Will can't help but notice the way violent, angry Billy Hargrove is sitting across from him all loose and easy, legs wide, hands on the sides of his chair and he's the one barking and biting, he's the one with a death grip on his rose. 

It's… interesting.

"We lied," Billy says, like there wasn't just this huge pause between them, like he'd never stopped talking. "That's all reputations are, lies." His voice is thick and deep and it is _ doing things _ to Will, lighting him up from the inside out in a way that makes Will want more. Not sex, just _ more _.

"I…" Will says. "I…" He's got nothing. He's staring at the boy he loves and he's got nothing. And the boy he loves? He's not just beautiful because Will loves him. He's flat-out beautiful. Gorgeous. Dictionary definition of. Could make a living off of how beautiful he is. The kind of beautiful that comes with a warning. Lethal.

And also the kind of beautiful that people will never let a boy like Will keep.

Billy shakes his head to break the silence. "_ Zombieboy._ Shoulda known it was you," he says with this smile that is entirely too fond for his face. Or for what Will has always thought Billy's face was. Or something. He doesn't know. He's basically drowning here. 

"And how do you think _ I _ feel? _ CamaroBoy_? _Metallica? Carrie?_ Who else was that going to be around here but you?" Will bites out and the way Billy's eyes narrow at the comment makes something in Will twitch. 

"The Camaro thing, yeah, but, _ Carrie?_" Billy asks the question like he doesn't get it, like he doesn't _ know _ and he probably doesn't, is probably so used to everybody staring at him all the time that he never noticed when Will was doing it. 

"I mean… I - I've seen you read that book like six hundred times," Will says, ducking his head as his cheeks heat up and flush with what he just knows is a truly _ mortifying _ shade of red.

"You were _ watchin' _ me, huh?" Billy says with this short, soft laugh that causes Will's heart to melt in his chest.

He's laughing at Will, but not like laughing _ at _ Will, more like… laughing like he thinks Will is the best thing he's ever seen and like, Will's never been on a rollercoaster before, but the way his stomach is diving for the floor right now, he figures this is probably what that feels like.

Billy's tongue flicks out over his lower lip in a move that Will just knows only comes easily from lots of practice and he says, "You wanna get out of here?" 

Will nods.

They haven't even ordered anything and already they're leaving, but they're leaving together and Will's never been more happy in his entire life and the rest of the world can suck it because Will is keeping this beautiful boy, okay, Billy is his now and he doesn't care how hard he's going to have to fight to keep him. As long as Billy keeps looking at him like he's the best thing he's ever seen, Will is keeping him and there's nothing else to it. 

///

Later, Will totally gets to octopus hug Billy and pet his hair and tell him that he's okay and they absolutely share Will's mom and they make out for the sheer pleasure of making out without having to worry about the other wanting more and it's just… good. 

It's just good.

And bad things happen, there are bad things too, there always are, but with Billy by his side, Will finds that he minds the bad things just a little bit less than he used to.

///


End file.
